I have moved and am loving my new apartment. It has been difficult moving from a three bedroom, three closet house to a one bedroom, one closet apartment! I am still downsizing! I have been lucky that the profits from the sale of my house enabled me to pay off my car, buy a new, really really cool sofa (which won’t be delivered for another two weeks) and all sorts of things to make this apartment my home. Of course my laptop died just before I moved, so I also had to invest in another one. Timing was good for that to happen!
I am still recuperating from my hip replacement. It has taken a lot longer than I ever thought. I am still not back to work. I was hoping maybe in April, but I am starting to wonder if that is going to happen and it is only mid-March! I am walking much better and am now exercising by taking short walks and riding the exercise bike in the fitness room. I get a better workout by riding the bike and I get a walk in when I am walking to the fitness room. I am still taking pain medications but not as many and not as often as before. It just has been a slow process. I don’t know why I thought I would be off and running so quickly!
My frustration is in myself. I have joined some “Meetup” groups and tonight I was supposed to go to a game night. I moved to Texas in 1997 and I still do not have any really close friends–you know, the life-long friends where you can call them up and say “come on over!” or “want to go to the movies tonight?” I have some friends, but nobody really my age and they are married. Anyway, every time I am supposed to do one of these Meetups, I come up with an excuse not to go. I get so nervous–I hate going into situations where I don’t know anybody. I am pretty shy when I don’t know people. You can’t shut me up once I get to know you and feel comfortable with you. I am just so frustrated that I, again, decided not to go tonight. I showered, dressed, looked in the mirror and decided that I looked fat, so therefore, I cannot go. So another night here at home with my cat. I would love to fall in love–but how will that happen if I never get out to meet people? Maybe they will come pounding on my door? hmmm….. I am feeling pretty lonely and I am just very frustrated. I know that I will be fine, as usual. I now have a plate of scones that I made for this game night. I just hope that I don’t eat the whole plate all by myself!
Whose Life is this Anyway? 
Just take a deep breath and put yourself out there. Think about the past and how you overcame. The worst that could happen is you have no fun, same as sitting home alone. SO GO.